Annual Awards Night - Sat Feb 7th 2004

Top footballers vie for the famous Brownlow Medal and the nation's best cricketers compete for the Allan Border Medal, even elite equestrians seek the enigmatic Garry Owen Trophy (whatever that is), but there is absolutely no doubt that the Holy Grail for the worlds top cyclists is the coveted King of the Warby Trail. It was with this in mind that the cream of the cycling world, accompanied by their glamorous partners, gathered to elect the next lycra clad superstud.

For months beforehand eligible pedalers had been faithfully riding their iron horses back and forth along the Warby Trail, in fair weather and foul, trying the catch the judges' eye. Calves had been shaved and polished, bikes had been cleaned, head winds had been confronted and beaten, numerous punctures had been repaired, hundreds of cream cakes had been eaten, in an effort to gain the elusive few extra votes that might secure the ultimate accolade.

Although there had been a few early favourites, including Ironman Dawson, Crasher Lewis, Spanner Billson, Legs Warren, Chainring Bury and even Hooters Seamons, by the time the calendar rolled up to the fateful evening the betting was wide open. The cycling world was electric with anticipation and Internet services were jammed all over the world with on-line readers waiting for the first news releases that would herald a new legend.

As the ever so famous riders and their partners began to arrive it was easy to see from the strained small talk that everyone's real attention was focussed on that impressive trophy that was so seductively displayed for everyone to lust after. Most riders knew that this night would probably be the closest they would ever get to the famous award, but for one of them their cycling career would be changed forever.

Getting Ready the Presentations

When all invited guests had arrived the evening began with a magnificent dinner, in which they enjoyed an incredible array of delicasies from the four corners of the globe (even from as far away as Narre Warren and Doncaster). After dinner guests moved to the reception room for the more formal part of the evening.

The program started with a nostalgic review of 2003, including some of the most memorable moments of the last 12 months. It was great to be able to recall some of the truly great moments, although old Crasher Lewis found it hard to remember what he did five minutes ago.

After some deliberation it was decided that the event that most stood out from 2003 was Daryl's immortal "Bunker Buster". (I guess that's one way to get your name in the history books.) I understand that some of the victims are still undergoing olfactory counselling after that experience.

As the excitement started to mount the President and Secretary made the following Minor Awards Presentations

Super Nova Award – Mal (for burning up an entire peloton)
Sleeping Giant Award – Daryl (for sleeping through half the Phillip Is ride)
Noisiest Rider – John (for his obnoxious hooters and tooters)
King of the Mountain – Ross (for first summiting Donna Buang)
Clayton’s Award – Mal (for disappearing in every ride)
Most Improved Rider – Warren (for obvious reasons)
Most Valued mobile Mechanic – Peter (for doing everyone else's work)
Most Punctures – Dennis (for obvious reasons)
Mental Toughness – Richard (for completing Round the Bay on his mountain bike in sub zeo temperatures)
Silken Calves – Bob (for his lustrous sheen)
Long Distance Award – Warren (for flying back from Adelaide to attend)
Shimano Chainring Award – Ross (for having an illegal number of gears)
Most Accurate Reporting – Dennis (for amazing literary achievement)
Polka Dot Hill Climber – Duncan (for regularly riding over the Emerald Alps)
Encouragement Award – John (to help him complete the Warby Trail)
Lazarus Award – Bob (for recovering from leg replacement surgery)
Westpac Rising Star Award – Duncan (for displaying the Westpac symbol on his head)
Billiard Table Award – Peter (for the shape of his legs)
Creative Genius Award – Daryl (for poison gas emissions)

Richard Receives his Certificate of Membership

The Warby Ghost Riders also welcomed into membership their newest "jerseyed" rider - Richard Dodd, who received his membership certificate.

There was also a Special Appreciation Award given to all the members of The Support Crew for their fantastic work in drinking coffee and spending money while their partners ride their bikes all over the state.

Mal Doswell and Warren Billson also added to the atmosphere by awarding some additional special awards, including a special trophy for the Best Man in Lycra. This was chosen by the female members of the audience and was unanimously awarded to Duncan Mayall. Daryl also added to the atmosphere, but in a way which is better not spoken about at this time.

After all the preliminaries were over it was time for the members of the Warby Ghost Riders Academy of Cycling to cast their votes for the Major Award. These were tallied and the results announced to the hushed throng. The winner of the 2004 King of the Warby Trail was Bob "Crasher" Lewis, who was presented with his trophy.

As an extra special Award Bob also received the first edition of the Ghost Riders Book, an 85,000 word masterpiece written by Dennis and containing edited records of all rides completed up to the end of 2003. This should give Bob something to read during his days in the Nursing Home. (Anyone else wanting a copy of this book should place their order with Dennis).

Crasher Lewis Proudly displaying his Trophy

At this point Bob got so excited that he produced all his old cycling medals from his halcyon riding days. Although these once meant something to him, his failing eyesight and appalling memory means he cannot tell them apart. After all, now he has achieved the "ultimate accolade", the others now pale into insignificance by comparison.

The remainder of the evening was spent laying plans for the forthcoming busy riding calendar. With new members joining us there was an air of excitement that 2004 would be our best year yet.

Another great evening !

PS

Bob getting ready for our next weekend away